This is Uncle Russ.
Uncle Russ hates jacks, and has a tattoo to prove it.
And if you don’t like it, you can kiss his ass.
Uncle Russ can’t see fish. Ever.
He’s got a bad hip, and a bad arm, and reels righty.
He’ll offer you some chew.
And if you don’t like it, that’s all right by him.
Once, Uncle Russ took a jumping sturgeon to the chest like a cannonball.
The sturgeon cried.